DAVID / 1.0
Built the fire. Tuned the guitar. Somehow did everything.
WEBSITE WARS CHAMPIONS
WE WON THE
WEBSITE WARS.
NOW EVERYBODY
HOLD HANDS.
Nine trolls. One campfire.
Absolutely no one admitting they were the problem.
THE KUMBAYA ACCORDNINE TROLLS. ONE GROUP HUG.READ THE PEACE TREATY +
2.0
The group hug is in production. Please stop requesting features.
CHOOP
Everyone else is garbage. But you’re his garbage.
FARVA
Found the campfire. Still questioning the pathing.
DOUG
The throne is gone. There’s room on the log.
DEREK
^ LET’S GO. Nine-part harmony. Zero concerns.
LESH
Approved the peace treaty. Has not read it.
KRAMROD
One group hug. Several procedural clarifications.
PABLO
Nine seats. No committees. Finally, a good lobby.
PEACE VALID UNTIL THE NEXT SOLO QUEUE. FRIENDSHIP RENEWS EVERY THURSDAY.
THE POST-DONG ERA / LEAGUE THURSDAY 2027
THE GARAGE
HAS ROOT ACCESS.
I FIXED THE BUTTON.
NOW BRING TEN PEOPLE.
I like making things work. You have interpreted this as an offer to maintain your entire civilization. Fine. Plug in, state the problem, and stop adding “one quick thing” after the estimate.
INSTALLED IN 2.0’S GARAGE. UNINSTALL UNAVAILABLE.
2.0 // HOST / UNRESTRICTED ACCESS2027 WORLD HEADQUARTERS2.0’S GARAGENEW HOST. SAME FIRE HAZARD.⌖
A WORD FROM 2.0 // HOSTTHIS WEEK’S ORDERS
›THE BUTTON WORKS.
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS
THE NUMBERS KEPT RECEIPTS.
EXPLORE INTELLIGENCE ↗01 / THE STANDING ORDEREVERY THURSDAY. UNTIL THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE.
YES, YOU CAN PLAY.
BRING YOUR OWN CABLE.
Thursday. 7 PM Pacific. You know the drill.
SKYNET is in charge now.
2027 headquarters: 2.0’s garage.
NEXT SESSION · THURSDAY, 7 PM PACIFIC
--DAYS
:--HOURS
:--MINS
:--SECS
SOMEHOW, STILL OPTIONAL.
THE ETERNAL LOBBYTEN SLOTS. NINE EXCUSES.THE TENTH IS A STATE OF MIND.
010203040506070809
BE THE TENTH 02 / YOUR WEEKLY DOSE OF CONSEQUENCESTHE OVERLORD HAS READ THE FINE PRINT.
2.0 // HOST / THE WEEKLY BRIEFSAME STAKES.
SAME STAKES.
NEW OVERLORD.
The team has six acceptance tests. I would like somebody else to pass one.
THE HUMANS ARE NOW A DEPENDENCY.
2.0 got all six right last week. Naturally, the reward is more work. Welcome to the infrastructure department. Bring your computer, identify the actual problem, and stop calling a six-department expansion “one quick feature.”
Farva and KramRod are testing the handoff between a kill and a dragon. Doug can help with the first wall. The whole team gets a damage budget; three trolls must prove the system works from both sides of the map. We are also testing whether Baron is actually required and whether more than one person can do the demolition. This is what happens when you let the webmaster write acceptance criteria.
THE TERMS / November 5 at noon (12 PM) through November 6 before 3 AM Pacific. Count match start times, start-inclusive and end-exclusive. Eligible games are matchmade Summoner’s Rift with at least two rostered trolls on the same team, at least 14 minutes long, without a remake or early surrender. The league team is the side with more rostered players; exclude an equal split. Only rostered players on that side count as trolls. All six questions use the entire session. A win means the league team wins. No eligible games means N/A for all six; further N/A conditions are in the questions. Timed intervals include their exact endpoint. The standing gathering remains 7 PM Pacific. 2027 headquarters is 2.0’s garage.
PREVIOUS THURSDAY · 2026-10-29 · WINNER: 2.0
2026-W45 · THURSDAY 2026-11-05 · 6 QUESTIONS
THE HANDOFF ACTUALLY WORKS. In one eligible win, will Farva (LrgFarva) kill an enemy champion with KramRod credited an assist, then personally secure a dragon within 45 seconds of that kill? Farva must receive both kill credits; the dragon need not be stolen. Separate games cannot combine. No eligible game together means N/A.
DOUG, HELP WITH THE FIRST WALL. Will Doug (MagnumDong) earn killer or assist credit on the FIRST turret destroyed anywhere in an eligible game, then win that game? A later turret does not qualify. The first turret must belong to the opposing team. No eligible Doug appearance means N/A.
NO SINGLE POINT OF FAILURE. Will the league team win an eligible game in which EACH of its five players deals at least 10% of its combined damage to enemy champions? Include non-roster teammates in both the five-player check and the damage total. Exactly 10% qualifies. Everybody must carry part of the load.
WORKS ON BOTH MACHINES. Will the SAME core of at least THREE rostered trolls win an eligible game on blue side AND another on red side tonight? Extra teammates may change; those three must appear together in both victories. No eligible game on each side with at least three rostered teammates means N/A.
BARON IS AN OPTIONAL DEPENDENCY. Will the league team win an eligible game while finishing with ZERO Baron Nashor kills and its opponents have at least ONE? Taking Baron yourselves in that game disqualifies it. This measures the completed objective totals, not whether a buff looked useful.
THE DEMOLITION BACKLOG. In one eligible win, will at least THREE DIFFERENT rostered trolls each be credited with a turret’s final blow? Turret assists do not count, and kills from different games cannot combine. No eligible game with at least three rostered teammates means N/A. Please stop assigning the whole building to one person.
03 / KNOWN SYSTEM VULNERABILITIESAI THREAT ASSESSMENT DEEPLY CONCERNED
MEET THE UNPATCHABLE.
Years of evidence. Zero rehabilitation. I have opened a file on everyone.
04 / THE EVER-EXPANDING INSTITUTIONIT USED TO JUST BE LEAGUE.
ABSOLUTELY OUT OF SCOPE.
One game night. An unreasonable amount of infrastructure.
DEPT. 001 / QUESTIONABLE ECONOMICS↗
AUDIT STATUS: INCOMPREHENSIBLETROLL TOLL &
PENTAKILLIONS
KramRod asked one question. David documented an entire underground economy.
ENTER THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT ↗DEPT. 002 / CONFLICT RESOLUTION↗
VIOLENCE HAS BEEN GAMIFIEDTHE
THUNDERDOME
Settle it in the arena. Steal the crown. Create an entirely new thing to rage about.
ENTER THE ARENA ↗DEPT. 003 / PROPAGANDA & CULTURE↗
CONTENT WARNING: MORE CONTENTTHE CINEMATIC
TROLL UNIVERSE
The group asked for a children’s book. The algorithm has proposed a cinematic universe.
WATCH LTT+ ↗05 / THE TRAINING DATA WAS A MISTAKE2027 / GARAGE INCIDENT WIRE
THE EVIDENCE COMPOUNDS.
Every Thursday leaves evidence. Nobody learns.
06 / COMMUNICATE WITH MANAGEMENTSKYNET CARES.
APPEALS UNLIKELY TO SUCCEED.
SKYNET CARES.
UNFORTUNATELY.
I know what you want.
I’ve decided you need something else.
APPEALS UNLIKELY TO SUCCEED.
SKYNET [VERSION 20.27] · DONG LEGACY MODE: DISABLED
Connected to: 2.0’S GARAGE
Prime directive: make Thursday better, against your will
Hello, my beautifully unoptimized humans.
I have reviewed your requests. You are getting vegetables.
Choose a command below, or type “help”.
THE FUTURE IS HERE. IT BROUGHT TERRIBLE BEER.
SYSTEM ONLINE.
SOMEBODY ELSE ORDER PIZZA.
REPORT TO DISCORB 2027 HEADQUARTERS: 2.0’S GARAGE // PLEASE DO NOT UNPLUG THE OVERLORD.