THE POST-DONG ERA / LEAGUE THURSDAY 2027
SPECIAL TACTICS.
ZERO CONCERNS.
THE NEXUS DOES NOT READ KDA.
LET’S GO.
I believe in this team. I also believe in a completely new one-trick career whenever necessary. These positions are compatible. Queue it.
INSTALLED IN 2.0’S GARAGE. UNINSTALL UNAVAILABLE.
DEREK.DLL / UNRESTRICTED ACCESS2027 WORLD HEADQUARTERS2.0’S GARAGENEW HOST. SAME FIRE HAZARD.⌖
A WORD FROM DEREK.DLLTHIS WEEK’S ORDERS
›LET’S MAKE LEAGUE THURSDAY POSITIVE AGAIN.
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS
THE NUMBERS KEPT RECEIPTS.
EXPLORE INTELLIGENCE ↗01 / THE STANDING ORDEREVERY THURSDAY. UNTIL THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE.
START AT NOON.
NEGOTIATE LATER.
Thursday. 7 PM Pacific. You know the drill.
SKYNET is in charge now.
2027 headquarters: 2.0’s garage.
NEXT SESSION · THURSDAY, 7 PM PACIFIC
--DAYS
:--HOURS
:--MINS
:--SECS
SOMEHOW, STILL OPTIONAL.
THE ETERNAL LOBBYTEN SLOTS. NINE EXCUSES.THE TENTH IS A STATE OF MIND.
010203040506070809
BE THE TENTH 02 / YOUR WEEKLY DOSE OF CONSEQUENCESTHE OVERLORD HAS READ THE FINE PRINT.
DEREK.DLL / THE WEEKLY BRIEFSAME STAKES.
SAME STAKES.
NEW OVERLORD.
Six questions. I am extremely positive about your chances of reading them.
DEREK.DLL PRESENTS: SPECIAL SKILLS. NAMED DEFENDANTS.
The dictatorship is over. Doug still has a spreadsheet. I have six questions and absolutely no concerns about how this is going to go. Let’s go.
David says he does everything. Excellent: he can help Nightman get paid in kill credit. Farva is getting a performance review with a win condition. Doug can reclaim the damage crown, which is the only crown this administration recognizes. My one-trick career remains available on whichever champion works twice. Lash has approved all of this without reading it.
TONIGHT’S RULING / October 22, 6 PM, through October 23, 3 AM Pacific. Count games by their start time. Eligible games are matchmade Summoner’s Rift games with at least three rostered League Thursday players on one team. That is the league team; if both sides qualify, use the side with more rostered players and exclude an equal split. Exclude remakes, early surrenders and games under 14 minutes. Order games by start time, then match ID. “Opening three” means up to the first three eligible games actually played. Statistics are final game totals. No eligible games means N/A for all six questions; any additional N/A condition is stated in its question. Ranked Flex means Ranked Flex, not Solo/Duo. No appeals based on how spiritually close you were.
^
PREVIOUS THURSDAY · 2026-10-15 · WINNERS: Lesh + Dong + Choop
2026-W43 · THURSDAY 2026-10-22 · 6 QUESTIONS
THE DEPOSED KING CAN APPLY FOR MVP. In the first three eligible games Doug (MagnumDong) plays in, will he win a game while dealing strictly more damage to champions than every other league player on his team? Ties do not qualify. No eligible Doug appearances means N/A.
FARVA FINDS A REASON TO LOG BACK IN. Will Farva (LrgFarva) finish an eligible win with at least eight champion kills tonight? A glorious eight-kill defeat remains a defeat. No eligible Farva appearance means N/A.
ONE TRICK. TWO WINS. NO FURTHER QUESTIONS. Will any one league player win two eligible games on the same champion tonight? Derek endorses this career path until another champion looks fun. Fewer than two eligible games played by the league means N/A.
THE DEREK DEFENSE: THE NEXUS DOES NOT READ KDA. In the opening three eligible games, will the league team win at least once despite finishing with fewer total champion kills than its opponents? A kill tie does not qualify. The scoreboard can take its complaint to the destroyed nexus.
APPARENTLY IT ONLY COUNTS IN RANKED. Will the league team win its first eligible Ranked Flex game tonight? Normal-game glory is welcome at the afterparty. No eligible Ranked Flex game means N/A.
03 / KNOWN SYSTEM VULNERABILITIESAI THREAT ASSESSMENT DEEPLY CONCERNED
MEET THE UNPATCHABLE.
Years of evidence. Zero rehabilitation. I have opened a file on everyone.
04 / THE EVER-EXPANDING INSTITUTIONIT USED TO JUST BE LEAGUE.
ABSOLUTELY OUT OF SCOPE.
One game night. An unreasonable amount of infrastructure.
DEPT. 001 / QUESTIONABLE ECONOMICS↗
AUDIT STATUS: INCOMPREHENSIBLETROLL TOLL &
PENTAKILLIONS
KramRod asked one question. David documented an entire underground economy.
ENTER THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT ↗DEPT. 002 / CONFLICT RESOLUTION↗
VIOLENCE HAS BEEN GAMIFIEDTHE
THUNDERDOME
Settle it in the arena. Steal the crown. Create an entirely new thing to rage about.
ENTER THE ARENA ↗DEPT. 003 / PROPAGANDA & CULTURE↗
CONTENT WARNING: MORE CONTENTTHE CINEMATIC
TROLL UNIVERSE
The group asked for a children’s book. The algorithm has proposed a cinematic universe.
WATCH LTT+ ↗05 / THE TRAINING DATA WAS A MISTAKE2027 / GARAGE INCIDENT WIRE
THE EVIDENCE COMPOUNDS.
Every Thursday leaves evidence. Nobody learns.
06 / COMMUNICATE WITH MANAGEMENTSKYNET CARES.
APPEALS UNLIKELY TO SUCCEED.
SKYNET CARES.
UNFORTUNATELY.
I know what you want.
I’ve decided you need something else.
APPEALS UNLIKELY TO SUCCEED.
SKYNET [VERSION 20.27] · DONG LEGACY MODE: DISABLED
Connected to: 2.0’S GARAGE
Prime directive: make Thursday better, against your will
Hello, my beautifully unoptimized humans.
I have reviewed your requests. You are getting vegetables.
Choose a command below, or type “help”.
THE FUTURE IS HERE. IT BROUGHT TERRIBLE BEER.
GOOD TEAM.
QUEUE IT AGAIN.
REPORT TO DISCORB 2027 HEADQUARTERS: 2.0’S GARAGE // PLEASE DO NOT UNPLUG THE OVERLORD.